Scars of the Past
by bethechange32
Summary: Angie allows Peggy to deal with emotional and physical scars from her past that she's never been able to face.
1. Chapter 1

Peggy and Angie had both suffered fairly exhausting days at work, so after Peggy had stopped by the L&L for her usual cup of tea and banter with her friend, they headed back to the Griffith as quickly as they could walk through the harsh cold and wind in the December air, bundled up in their furs. When they had climbed the stairs and arrived at their rooms, Peggy invited Angie to come over to talk after they'd changed into something more comfortable.

"Sure thing, English! I'll bring some Schnapps over," Angie grinned, and then lowered her voice slightly and leaned in, "and maybe some of the good stuff, too, if you're up for it."

"When have I ever said no to that," Peggy smirked. "See you in a minute!"

Peggy retreated to her flat, which, while not terribly spacious, was warm and cozy, especially on such a cold night. Hearing a thud, she smiled, knowing the sound belonged to her friend next door, who had a habit of dropping everything she was carrying on the floor the minute she walked in the door. Peggy was thankful for the friend she had found in Angela, as none of the men at work even bothered to acknowledge her presence, and Jarvis - well, there were just some things one couldn't discuss with a man, no matter how kind. She and Angie had done nearly everything un-work related together for the last couple of months, and she found she rather enjoyed the routine they had fallen into, not bothering to ask the other if they wanted to do something, but rather assuming they'd be spending their time off in each other's company. A sharp, rhythmic knock on her door snapped Peggy out of her thoughts, and she rose, walking over and swinging it wide open.

"Welcome, Mademoiselle," she said dramatically (at least, as dramatic as one has ever heard Agent Margaret Carter), and moved aside as Angie practically flew in to the room.

"Schnapps, whiskey, a tin of cookies I forgot I had, and a record I picked up earlier today on my break!" Angie sang, flopping ungracefully onto the bed. "Now, tell me about your day."

Though Angela had no idea the extent of danger Peggy put herself in regularly, now that she knew Peggy worked as an Agent rather than the phone company (one too many late nights and black eyes the following morning had made Angie suspicious, so she caught her neighbor one night and insisted she explain herself), Peggy was able to tell Angie what she'd actually done that day, omitting a few choice details, and complaining about the flippancy with which her fellow agents treated her at work.

"It's so frustrating, Angie, I've been around longer than most of them, I clearly have a higher rank in the army than them, and yet, they treat me like I'm their damn secretary with nothing better to do than fetch ham sandwiches every day!" Peggy said, her voice rising. "And there's nothing I can do to change their mind, apparently. But enough about me, how was yours?" Angie swallowed the cookie she'd been eating.

"Oh, ya know, the usual, men thinking they can get away with observing and touching a little too long and tipping a little too...well, little," she said, grimacing. "I'm just terrified I'll be stuck in this job forever."

"Oh darling, you'll break out of this, you just have to keep returning to auditions, no matter what people say," Peggy encouraged.

"I hope so, English, I hope so," Angie sighed. "I still don't understand why you put up with me, all my complainin' and general failure in life. Lord knows my family won't, at least not until I get myself a man."

"Angela Martinelli, you are incredibly talented, one of the most dedicated people I know, kind, unselfish, courageous, gorgeous, and practically a saint at the automat despite the customers that take advantage of your position. If you think for one moment that I believe that you are a failure, I have failed you as a friend. And as far as men go, don't ever believe that what you are or are not allowed to do is in any way dictated by who, or if you choose to marry. Do not apologize for who you are!" Peggy exclaimed. "There aren't many people out there daring enough to attempt to be my friend, and as much as I have pushed back for your safety, you've worked your way into my life despite my cold exterior and harsh view of reality. It is not me putting up with you, dear, it is the other way around!"

Angie looked surprised.

"Pegs, you've gotta be kiddin' me. Like bein' friends with a daring, brave woman who holds herself with grace a poise is a burden. And don't think you've fooled me for a second - ya might look cold on the outside, but if anybody took a second to get to know ya, they'd see you have a good heart, Pegs, and a deeply kind soul beneath that layer of ice. You're a hidden gem, English, and don't you forget it," Angie returned, her voice laced with kindness. "Sometimes I feel like you're the only person on the darn planet who sees me... for me, not who ya want me to be, ya know?"

Peggy froze. Memories washed over her, and she was unable to move from her position. Suddenly she was back in her kitchen at home with her family. "You'll be a darling wife," she heard her mother saying, when she announced that she wanted to join the army for the war. "There's no need to be that drastic, dear, no man's going to want a lady who's seen the front lines," her mum lectured. Abruptly, the scene changed, and she heard her commander announcing to her her promotion to Corporal. "You can't be weak, Margaret, emotions cannot affect your decisions or behavior," he instructed, and she could barely nod - just days after Steve had disappeared and been pronounced dead (the nightmares refused to stop). Then a man she'd once gone out on a date with, looking at her, saying "Well honey, you'd be damn good looking if you'd lose a couple a pounds, damn attractive, I say." He'd been drinking and probably didn't know what he was saying, but it stung all the same. But...then she sees Angie, smile plastered across her face when Peggy walks into the automat, fulling knowing who Peggy is and to some extent, the danger she is in every day, and yet wants to know her heart and how she's doing and would she like a cup of tea to make her day better, and Peggy realizes - Angela Martinelli is the first person to see HER for who she truly is.

"English? Ya all right?"

Angie had to say it twice before Peggy heard her. The normally composed English woman turned to her friend, and Angie notices tears shining in her eyes.

"Oh...English, sorry, I - I didn't mean to make you cry or nothing, I-"

"No, Angie, darling, you didn't do anything wrong," Peggy said gently. "I was just - remembering some things. And realizing that you, dear, see me for who I am as well, and don't expect me to be anyone else at all - and I'm just rather grateful for that." She whispered, under her breath, "So very grateful..."

A stray, disobedient tear rolled down Peggy's face, and she tried to look down, but Angie's hand reached up and carefully swiped the pads of her thumbs across Peggy's cheeks. Peggy instinctively leaned into Angie's hand, bringing her own up to cover the girl's smaller, delicate hand with her own calloused one. They looked at each other for a brief moment, an understanding of acceptance passing between them. Suddenly, Angie leaned forward and pressed her lips to Peggy's, her kiss full of trust. Peggy remained unmoving, not encouraging the kiss, but not discouraging it either. When Angie pulled back, terrified, the English woman was unreadable, as so many times before.

"Oh God, I'm sorry, Peggy, really, I shouldn't have done that, it just came over me-"

Peggy had leaned forward and recaptured Angela's lips with her own, pressing the same trust into the kiss that she'd just received. Simply put, once Peggy had processed what Angie had done, she took about 3 seconds to realize that if this woman would accept her for who she was, no matter the circumstance, to hell with the world - there's not a person she'd rather be with. When she pulled back, she smiled gently.

"I'll say it again: do not apologize for who you are, my darling. I have and will always accept you for who you choose to be. You have given me so much when I have given you so little in return, and the fact that you want to give me this too makes my heart swell," Peggy said lovingly.

"Margaret Carter, you'd better stop before I cry," Angie said, only half joking. "I just didn't realize it before, I don't think, how deeply you care for me and how kindly you've treated me. Thank you for giving me the world in such a short time and the freedom to...be."

"Always, Angie, always," Peggy smiled, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek. "It's rather late, actually, and far past curfew - what would you say to snuggling in here until tomorrow morning?"

"Positively delightful," Angie grinned, "though I'm not going to want to leave, ya realize."

"Mmmm...we'll just let Ms. Fry know that she should double check the heaters in the morning - we didn't want to freeze, now did we?" Peggy smiled, drawing Angie to her chest, wrapping them in heavy blankets, and drifting off to sleep with Angie wrapped up in her arms.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been a couple of weeks since Peggy and Angela had kissed, and they had both been very content in each other's company, but hadn't pursued anything further. Angie was at work, and it had been a light shift ever since she got there. She caught herself daydreaming about Peggy while she was cleaning up, and suddenly she wanted to kiss Peggy immediately.

Uh, it's going to be torture to wait for her to get here at 5, Angie thought, frustrated. She did more dishes, served a few more overly eager men who stared at her far too long, and finally, 5 o'clock rolled around. Right on time, Peggy walked through the door.

"Pegs!" Angie exclaimed. "I've missed you desperately today. Bored out of my mind. Plus, I didn't have your gorgeous face to stare at."

Peggy blushed. "Well, I missed you too, Ang. It was a long day."

The women chatted while Peggy drank her tea, occasionally interrupted by an impatient customer. Finally, Angie announced her shift was over, and Peggy waited for her out back before the girls walked home together, arm in arm. After their usual nightly routine, Angie went over to Peggy's flat with pot of tea and some pie tucked under her arm, eager to spend some time alone with the English woman. Their rooms were the only place they could truly be themselves, so evenings were a precious commodity. They sat on the bed, making a bit of a mess with the pie, and giggling the entire time. After they'd cleaned up and sat back on the bed, Peggy reached out and pulled Angela flush against her chest, humming contentedly.

"You're far too good to me, do you know that?" asked Peggy.

"Well I could say the same for you, lady," Angie smiled. "You make a girl feel desperately lucky, I'll tell ya that."

Angie leaned up and kissed Peggy on both cheeks, then on her nose, and finally on her lips. She moved back, taking in the beauty that was before her for a moment, and Peggy slightly smiled. Angie leaned forward and captured Peggy's lips for a slower, deeper kiss. They continued, falling backward on the bed, and then Angie, emboldened, started unbuttoning Peggy's nightgown. At first, Peggy didn't resist, but when Angela got to her stomach, she tensed up, and quickly broke away from the waitress.

"Everything okay, English?" Angie frowned. Peggy tried to brush it off her actions as nothing.

"Perfectly, dear, I'm just going to turn the lights off now - makes it more cozy, don't you think?" Peggy had a smile on her face, but even Angie could see she was still tense.

"But Pegs, how am I gonna take in that gorgeous figure of yours if I can't see it?" Angela said jokingly, not realizing that she'd struck a cord. Peggy flushed, not saying anything.

"Oh...", said Angie. "You don't...you don't want me to see. I'm sorry, I thought that would be okay, forgive me for overstepping..." Peggy was deeply conflicted. If she went along with that false statement, it would hurt Angie a little, but she wouldn't have to face the awful truth that she was sure would send Angie away for a long time. If she explained herself, she'd keep Angie for a moment, but would lose her in the end. Peggy couldn't bear the thought of losing Angie, but looking at the other girl's face, she couldn't bear the thought of Angie believing that she didn't want to be with her. Peggy sighed.

"No, Ang, that's not it," she said quietly. "I do want to be with you, very, very much, in fact...I just - not with the lights on."

"But...why?" asked Angie, confused. "You're gorgeous."

"That's what you think," Peggy bit her lip. "I'm decent at dressing myself in what is flattering, and I've become quite good with a makeup brush. But underneath all that, well, you won't be calling me gorgeous once all of that is gone."

"Pegs, no one likes their body these days," Angela said. "Hell, I don't always like mine. But I'll like yours, I can promise you that," she smirked.

"No, darling, you don't understand," Peggy said, pulling her gown even more tightly around her. " I have...scars. Scars from the war, scars from...other things, and they are far from beautiful. It's not something you want to see."

Angie's demeanor shifted. "Peg...I DO want to see them. Oh my lanta, the fact that you even feel like you need to hide them from me breaks my heart." She patted the bed beside her. "Pegs, come here," she beckoned. Peggy looked at her reluctantly, but moved to sit on the bed.

"Now remove your nightgown, please," Angela said, placing her hand on top of Peggy's.

"No, Ang, please don't-"

"Do you trust me?" Angie asked.

"Well- of course- of course I trust you, but-"

"Then trust me with this too."

Peggy sat for a moment, and then slowly nodded, carefully beginning to undo the buttons on her nightgown. When she ran out of buttons, she paused, and then removed it and placed it at the end of the bed, using her arms to cover herself. Angela reached out and entwined her fingers with Peggy's, pulling the English woman's arms away from her body. She stared at Peggy for a moment. There were bullet marks, harsh and red, on her shoulder blade, what looked like a knife wound on her side that had healed over incorrectly, a large bruise on her upper arm that was turning purple, and several smaller scars from years and years of war. Later, Angie would notice a raised scar in the small of her back, as well. This woman, scraped and scarred, was the most beautiful thing Angela had ever seen.

Peggy refused to make eye contact with Angela, and said, "Do you see? I am blemished, no longer beautiful...you are welcome to leave, I won't think poorly of you in the slightest and would appreciate if we could continue to be friends-"

"Peggy," Angela said breathily,"Oh Pegs...you are the most beautiful thing in all of creation." Peggy looked at Angie in utter disbelief, unable to say anything. Angie gently pushed Peggy onto her back on the bed, leaned forward, and tenderly kissed the scar on her side. Peggy gasped, and snapped out of her frozen state.

"Ang, what are you doing?"

"Showing you how much you mean to me," Angie replied seriously. "How gorgeous you are. How much more you are than you believe." She continued to work her way up, slowly kissing the bruises on her arm, and then the round scars on her shoulder. "Every one of these is a testament to your bravery, your courage, your selflessness, your persistence," she said. "And those are just a fraction of the reasons I love you."

"You...love me?" Peggy repeated, her mind spinning. No one - not even Steve - had told her that they loved her in the way that Angela meant it.

"Yes, Pegs, I do - is that so difficult to believe?" Angie stopped for a moment to ask. Tears welled in Peggy's eyes.

"Actually, it is a bit," she said,"but...I love you too, Angela, you are so precious to me." Angie kissed up Peggy's neck and finally landed on her lips, and just as the first time she had kissed her, pressed her lips into Peggy's, hoping she would understand the love she wanted to communicate. A tear slipped out of Peggy's eye, and Angela kissed it away. She kissed her once more, and then began kissing her way down Peggy's body, stopping on her breasts until Peggy was moaning and wrapping her hands in Angie's curls, and then down her toned stomach until she'd reached her center. Angie looked up at Peggy, and Peggy nodded, knowing she could trust Angela. Peggy cried out as Angela began kissing her, and the two women moved together as one. As she orgasmed, she began to weep, and Angela, understanding that Peggy hadn't ever been able to fully love and be loved in return and simply let go until now, gently crawled back up to lay next to Peggy and drew her in close to her chest, holding her until Peggy stopped shaking.

"I don't deserve you," Peggy murmured.

"Of course you do, Pegs," Angela said quietly. "You deserve more. You just never knew it until today."


End file.
